2019

Black Creatives - Lexington, KY

December 22, 2019



Ciara LeRoy of Pretty Strange Design slid into my DMs one evening and asked if I'd be willing to participate in a photoshoot she was hosting for black creatives who are oft-overlooked in the city (my city/ my hometown) of Lexington. Without hesitation, I replied with an enthusiastic yes and it set into motion what we would be the meeting of minds, ideas, collaborations and unbeknownst to me at the time, the beginning of a movement.
Ciara LeRoy - artist and Black Creatives organizer extraordinaire as shot by Amani Nichae of Honey Sage Photo Co

EVERYTHING about this gathering was black AF. Every creative featured including the photographers, down to the hostess/owner of the event space named Peri Ave which also functions as a space for the NoLi (North Lime) community and city of Lexington at large. All black-owned and black orchestrated.
Me pictured with Danielle Meadows-Stinett of Octane Designs and MTG Podcast (co-host), Aisha Nwandu owner of Kentucky Bloggers

As you know at ANY and EVERY black event there MUST be food. Here is a look at the spread curated by Ciara. 






THIS is the type of community I needed when I was 18. This is what I needed to see when I was growing up trying to figure out where my lofty and seemingly odd dreams and aspirations could fit in. I needed to see beautiful, successful, artistic, off-the-beaten-path black people doing things I wanted to do or at the time didn't even know existed.


Me in my usual grinning element as shot by Amani Nichae of Honeysage Photo Co.

Ciara did more than just create a gathering space for some black folk that day, she helped to highlight just a portion of the talented black people that exist, work, thrive, uplift, build, create and contribute to the Lexington community at large. Her goal was to give us visibility in our own city, in a city where the same types of people are usually well represented on the same types of platforms. Lexington is a diverse city and it does a disservice to the people of all colors who have helped to build, grow and contribute positively to our town when we're not acknowledged. 

Venue: Peri Ave owned by Maya McCutchen @periavelex (IG)
Organizer: Ciara LeRoy of @prettystrangedesign (IG)
Photographer: Amani Nichae of @honeysagephotoco (IG)

Black creatives (Instagram handles): @csevolutionofstyle @_martibarksdale @porschalynette @what_shayna_say @anonimuss_rose @samanhattanpr @somaisaias @octanedesigns @busticebonez @ky_ambassador @prettystrangedesign @lafetaylor @honeysagephotoco @_forgottenmagic @aishadaobi @geminisrvng @periavelex
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Heart Chakra Open AF

September 23, 2019






In the last few years, I've been doing a lot of soul searching; figuring out who I am, who I want to be and how to make those women meet. I have manifested so many wonderful things into my life in the past year and a half. I became a nurse this year, met an amazing man (J), landed a great nursing job and it looks like things are on a pretty positive course. Then, as of last week, I entered into a relationship with said amazing man that I manifested and the doubt began to creep in. 

I blogged before about self-sabotage and the negative effects it can have on your mentality and your life. Those feelings of unworthiness and flight began to set in for me this weekend. Although I didn't tell my new beau about these things at the time, I had to sit back and process why I was triggered and what I could do about it. To give a more in-depth understanding of how I was feeling, I first have to give you the break down:

1) December 2018: I decided that I was tired of the type of love I had been receiving and knew I deserved more. I signed up for a free challenge/FB group with a relationship with a coach named Crystal Irom. From this free class with Crystal, I eventually signed up for a 6 week paid course called Magnetize Your Match. She gave tips and tricks on how to hone in and be very specific about the type of man you want. We started with inner work on ourselves because you have to be right within or on that path to expect/call in someone of the same caliber. We were very broad about what we wanted in a partner and I made a list of about thirty or so qualities that I wanted in a man. By the end of the course, I had narrowed that down to five things that were non-negotiable for any man that I would enter into a romantic relationship with. 

2) January 2019: With my vision board already completed and my intention set for the year, I decided that 2019 would be the year that I met and found my husband. A couple weeks after making this proclamation I met J. From the day of our first date until now we have talked every single day.

Early on I knew that there was something special between us and that he was unlike any man I had ever dated before. He's kind, he's genuine, he's handsome, he cares about me and shows it and I can ask him to do anything and I know that he will at least try to help me out. These are the qualities I truly appreciate about him and I'm so thankful that I manifested him into my life.

3) January 2019- present: Even after months of daily phone calls/texts/Snaps,  spending time together, going on dates, cooking together, talking about our lives and our plans, he was hesitant to make the move from being friends to a relationship. We were finally able to have a heart-to-heart about that situation and made our relationship official last week. As someone who has dealt with more than one bad relationship, I understood and still understand his hesitation. It is a very hard recovery process to heal yourself and your heart when someone has done you dirty. But I knew then and know now that he is very special.

So over this past weekend, I began to have doubts. After how highly I've spoken of this man and how I feel about him, I began to wonder if I really wanted to be in a relationship at all. I took things slow with him on purpose and did things differently because I didn't want to get caught up in the wrong things and I wanted to make sure I knew the person that was coming into my life and eventually Liam's life too. He agreed to take things slow and never made it out like it was a problem. So there was never a doubt in my mind about how he felt about me judging by his words and actions. So where was this doubt and fear coming from?

After about a day of reflection, I realized that I'm not so much afraid of rejection or being broken up with. I am afraid of again being the person that heals a man and gets him ready for the next woman. I am afraid of pouring my heart and myself into another man and not receiving that love back. I am afraid of being too vulnerable and open to someone just to have it all fall apart and start from scratch with someone new. Of course, this realization came with a downpour of tears. 

At that moment, I fully understood why he was hesitant to be in a relationship in the first place. In his most recent and past experiences, things start off good, progressed fast and furious then things fell apart. He's a giver, a hard worker and puts his all into relationships. In my experience, I see the good and the potential in someone and want to help them to grow and develop because that is my love language. I'm also a giver, I'm loyal and I want a partnership. In 15 or so years of dating and a couple of serious relationships, I have never gotten back as much as I put in. Not even close. 

It's truly amazing the depths of the damage that we carry with us. I truly believed that I had sorted through most of my relationship blockages. I now realize that it's something that's going to take more time and I will have to truly do the deeper work to get to where I need to be. Shout out to one of my bffs Myia for being the voice of reason and other side of the coin that I needed to see things differently.

  I'm not looking for J to heal me or save me and it's not my intention to be that for him. If anything I hope to show him the same patience, kindness, and care he has shown me through. I'm looking forward to our relationship growing and developing into a lifetime of adventures, becoming a family (adding some members to that family as well), obstacles that we shatter, love, compromise, commitment, and most important choosing to work on these things daily together. Not relying on the other to bring us joy, but cultivating it from within and sharing it with one another. 


What is the vision you have for your next relationship? What do you desire in your future partner? If you've already met them, what about them do you love and appreciate? 

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On Fear and Failure to Launch

August 31, 2019

photo: Kat Wagers Studios

 As of today's date, I am about 2 months into my Nursing career as an LPN. It's kind of crazy! As y'all should know about me by now, I am eternally restless. I am always ready to tackle and complete the next goal in my life. I have not taken the time to even post a well thought out post until now. I feel like a lot of things are becoming more apparent to me the longer I live and learn more about myself. The main thing is that I am supposed to be an entrepreneur. 

 I have slowly but surely been planting the seeds and preparing myself to head in that direction since I was 18 or 19.  I am a lifetime learner who enjoys learning for the sake of learning. As I progress in my career and my life path, it's just obvious. I like control of my schedule and I hate to feel boxed in by work schedules, I enjoy doing many things and I don't like doing the same types of things daily. Most important is the fact that I like to have direct control of my earnings. I feel like my work or lack thereof should directly affect my earnings. That can only fully happen when you work for yourself. 

 It may explain why I have never been 100% satisfied with any job I've ever had. In that same vein, I make sure to maximize every learning opportunity from any job I have and have had. But now, I think it's finally time to step into my season of true entrepreneurship and being my own boss. 

 So, I took a personal inventory of some of the things that have blocked me in the past:

 1) Fear (of failure, success, who knows?). Fear can be paralyzing and keep you in once place for much too long. 

 2) Lack of support/feeling of support. I feel like there is only a shortlist of people I can talk to about my business. My family is kind of supportive at a distance, but I have never had anyone in my life be really gung-ho about me starting a business/being an entrepreneur. I don't need anyone's approval, but it's always good to have moral and other support. In that same realm, I know my mom is more of a passive supporter. If I'm running a business and ask her to help me do some things, I know she would. 

 3) Lack of follow-through. Back in Spring 2016, I decided it was my time. I had a supplier, had invested money in hair to wear and try, a website, twitter account, IG account for my now-defunct Liam Luxe Virgin Hair and NOT a single sale. I kind of gave up and put it on the back burner to finish Nursing school. 

 What's different this time? I have to do this. I'm not happy with my current financial situation, I'm not happy with the current trajectory of my life and I'm finally ready and willing to put the muscle behind the movement. This is apart of a complete overhaul of my life. Yes, I am still going to get my RN degree and yes I still want to become a Nurse Practitioner. But in 2019 and for a few years now, multiple streams of income has been the name of the game. I need savings, healthy retirement fund and some better financial management. My finances, my health, my education and the way I'm currently progressing through life are not up to the standards I would like them to be. So it's that time again folks, a new season, a time for reinvention and most crucial, a time to become who I've always been meant to be. 
photo: Kat Wagers Studios
*Cheers to a new business, a better me and living my best life as Cicely Nurse & Entrepreneur*

 Until again,
Bougie Beauty Babe
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Vibrating Higher - The Art of Leveling Up

February 25, 2019

Working from within, glowing from within


Thanks to Ciara, the phrase "Level Up" is back full force in our daily vernacular and her message couldn't possibly be more timely in my own life. I took a cold, hard look at my 2018 and said "Biiiihhhhhh, you gots ta do better". I have always worked hard towards my goals and even when I have fallen short, I have always been one to find the silver lining in my mishaps. 

2018 was a year filled with lots of Ls. The majority of them were personal. At the close of 2018 "I said self, we are going to do things differently. We are going to get our shit together this year and come for everything you've ever dreamt of and more. From now on, it's go-mode towards my wildest dreams" 

Leveling up to me means being more positive and optimistic, being the best mom to Liam I can be and also elevating myself to the highest vibration I can. All of these things are something I have to work on daily. At 31, I am finally in a place where I am investing in and working on myself on a regular basis. I want to share with you some of the practices I believe are essential to propelling  forward and vibrating on a higher level: 

1) EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) - I was introduced to the Tapping Wizard, Brad Yates via a friend back in 2015 via YouTube. I had heard of tapping, but it was never really on my radar. I use it daily to get myself in a positive and receptive mindset. If you don't know what EFT is, it is a technique used to balance your energy system. You literally tap on pressure points in your body with or without repeating mantras that clear blocks and elevate your spiritual vibrations. YouTube Brad Yates. There are many gurus and professionals out there, but I have grown accustomed to Brad and his style and had the chance to see and tap with him live in Cincinnati, OH in October 2018 with my friend Kristin. 

2) Workout/Physical activity - there is no better way to look, feel and be better than to work and work out your body. Since being back in organized workouts these past two weeks, I feel so much better. I am not as fatigued and emotionally I feel light and more positive. Those are all wins in my book. I said this semester that I would make the effort to workout to help with my mood, fatigue and memory/retention of material. 

3) Personal development - this can take many forms. This can be as simple as reading a book that teaches you about your personality type, taking a course on Psychology, learning how to love better, how to and self-help books, you name it. There is no wrong way to engage in personal development, I strive to learn something new and non-Nursing related daily. My most recent endeavor was to take a 6-week course from relationship coach Crystal Irom called Magnetize Your Match. It was an amazing experience and I got to dive into a lot of deep self-work and truly make some progress towards one of my prominent goals this year: meet my life partner, husband and future father of my kids and Dad to Liam. For more information on that program, click here  Crystal Irom Relationship Coach

4) Self-care - I love this topic so much I wrote a guest blog post on it here: SELF LOVE SERIES: TIPS ON SELF CARE. I truly think caring for your self is the crux of being able to be the best version of yourself and also in being able to level up. Being full is important so that you can pour into others.

5) Embrace, indulge and participate in your hobbies. For me, that meant this year choosing to be 1/3 of 2 other amazing women co-hosting a newly founded podcast: #MTG the podcast. It is such an amazing experience and I'm so glad I get to share this with Danielle & Brittany. I also started working out again and I have returned to my blog. I am taking time to do things I love and that makes my spirit happy. 

I recognize that leveling up looks different for everyone, but the aforementioned items are what works for me. I don't have everything figured out, but I truly believe when you put your self in the space to grow and allow for mistakes. Thanks so much for sticking with me guys. 

Until again,
Bougie Beauty Babe
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31 Lessons in 31 Years/31 Thangs About Me

February 1, 2019

When you grown. Photo by: Erica Lee Photography (2018)/ MUA: Makeup by Kristin Gray 


My favorite national holiday has circled back around another year: my birthday! I saw a post on ScaryMommy.com that inspired this blog and title. I wanted to share 31 truths I've learned in my 31 trips around the sun and mix in some fun facts about me. 

31. I can do bad all by myself.

30. "What you seek is seeking you" - Rumi

29.  Nothing happens before it's time. This is such a hard lesson to accept. But as I get older, I am more at ease. 

28. Quality ALWAYS outweighs quantity of friends. I have some of the best people in my circle and it is only a select few. 

27. "To thine ownself be true" - that sums it up for itself

26. A "no" doesn't mean forever, it just means right now. Be open and receptive to other options and possibilities you weren't considering. 

25. Nothing can ever happen if you don't take a chance. The older I get, the more hesitant I have become about making exciting, new, promising decisions. This was not a problem in my youth. I chalk that up to being a single mom in a single income household and bearing the brunt of the responsibility. What I have learned thus far in my womanhood/motherhood journey is that what works for me is usually what will work for Liam. If I can see the benefit for me and us as a family, then that's the green light. My parenting goal in this life is to raise a child/children who don't have to get therapy to recover from childhood trauma and to be present in my children's life. 

24. I have a secret desire to own a mini farm lol. I want a cow, about 3 dogs, 2 cats, chickens, a garden and a good size house on about 5 acres. Now, I don't know how to farm or garden, but I'm willing to learn lol. 

23. Motherhood for me has been one of THE most stressful, fulfilling and life-changing adventures and aside from having more money, there is absolutely nothing I would change.  

22. I used to have constant anxiety about providing for myself and my son, but EVERY TIME things work out for the best. "Won't He do it?!"

21. My favorite color is Cerulean.

20. I was born on a Monday.

19. Giorgio Armani Luminous Silk is my absolute favorite foundation (My color is #10 if anyone is feeling gifty lol).

18. I prefer lipgloss to lipstick, but love them both.

17. I am NOT a cat person, but my pound cat (got her from Lexington Human Society) Luna is my pride and joy lol.

16. My mama is one of my favorite people in this world. (That don't mean I don't love my Daddy because I certainly do)
photo by Christina Terrano/ HMUA: me

 15. I know with certainty in my heart that I will meet my soulmate/life partner this year. Don't ask me how I know, but I do.

14. I'm intuitive and as I like to joke, ALMOST psychic. I have a way of sensing/feeling things that I usually can't explain. I am an ENFJ personality.

13. Liam was on my short list of baby names and when I saw him for the first time, I knew the name I picked fit perfectly.

12. This is year 10 for me as a single mom. I'm a whole decade deep!

11. I've never been married, but come close...

10. I believe working on yourself is key to getting better in all aspects and to helping those around you.

9. A dream/goal of mine is to have my own talk show a la Oprah meets Ricki Lake with a dash of Cardi B lol

8. Nursing is a 2nd career for me.

7. I'm a candle junkie. I love candles. Check out www.hausofhoodoo.com and www.poshcandleco.com

6. I like to surround myself with positivity and flowers (I often by myself flowers)

5. Outside of childhood, I've only had two good Valentine's Days. But this year that will change (because I'm taking matters into my own hands)

4. I recorded my previous weight loss journey on Youtube...it's still up for you to see lol

3. There are very few people you can rely on in life. The ones you can, be sure to cherish and honor them while you have the chance. 

2. Be thankful/grateful every day. A positive mindset and outlook always spawn positive actions in your life. This is NON-negotiable. 

1. No love compares to the love you should/need to have for yourself. You have to love you first to love anyone else. That doesn't mean that you won't have your bad days and days of doubt, but you need to know that you are a BAMF all day erryday. Okuurrrrrrr? *Cardi*
photo by: Christina Terrano/HMUA: me



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