On Fear and Failure to Launch

August 31, 2019

photo: Kat Wagers Studios

As of today's date, I am about 2 months into my Nursing career as an LPN. It's kind of crazy! As y'all should know about me by now, I am eternally restless. I am always ready to tackle and complete the next goal in my life. I have not taken the time to even post a well thought out post until now. I feel like a lot of things are becoming more apparent to me the longer I live and learn more about myself. The main thing is that I am supposed to be an entrepreneur. 

I have slowly but surely been planting the seeds and preparing myself to head in that direction since I was 18 or 19.  I am a lifetime learner who enjoys learning for the sake of learning. As I progress in my career and my life path, it's just obvious. I like control of my schedule and I hate to feel boxed in by work schedules, I enjoy doing many things and I don't like doing the same types of things daily. Most important is the fact that I like to have direct control of my earnings. I feel like my work or lack thereof should directly affect my earnings. That can only fully happen when you work for yourself. 

It may explain why I have never been 100% satisfied with any job I've ever had. In that same vein, I make sure to maximize every learning opportunity from any job I have and have had. But now, I think it's finally time to step into my season of true entrepreneurship and being my own boss. 

So, I took a personal inventory of some of the things that have blocked me in the past:

1) Fear (of failure, success, who knows?). Fear can be paralyzing and keep you in once place for much too long. 

2) Lack of support/feeling of support. I feel like there is only a shortlist of people I can talk to about my business. My family is kind of supportive at a distance, but I have never had anyone in my life be really gung-ho about me starting a business/being an entrepreneur. I don't need anyone's approval, but it's always good to have moral and other support. In that same realm, I know my mom is more of a passive supporter. If I'm running a business and ask her to help me do some things, I know she would. 

3) Lack of follow-through. Back in Spring 2016, I decided it was my time. I had a supplier, had invested money in hair to wear and try, a website, twitter account, IG account for my now-defunct Liam Luxe Virgin Hair and NOT a single sale. I kind of gave up and put it on the back burner to finish Nursing school. 

What's different this time? I have to do this. I'm not happy with my current financial situation, I'm not happy with the current trajectory of my life and I'm finally ready and willing to put the muscle behind the movement. This is apart of a complete overhaul of my life. Yes, I am still going to get my RN degree and yes I still want to become a Nurse Practitioner. But in 2019 and for a few years now, multiple streams of income has been the name of the game. I need savings, healthy retirement fund and some better financial management. My finances, my health, my education and the way I'm currently progressing through life are not up to the standards I would like them to be. So it's that time again folks, a new season, a time for reinvention and most crucial, a time to become who I've always been meant to be. 

photo: Kat Wagers Studios

*Cheers to a new business, a better me and living my best life as Cicely Nurse & Entrepreneur*

Until again,
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