2nd degree nursing student

On Fear and Failure to Launch

August 31, 2019

photo: Kat Wagers Studios

 As of today's date, I am about 2 months into my Nursing career as an LPN. It's kind of crazy! As y'all should know about me by now, I am eternally restless. I am always ready to tackle and complete the next goal in my life. I have not taken the time to even post a well thought out post until now. I feel like a lot of things are becoming more apparent to me the longer I live and learn more about myself. The main thing is that I am supposed to be an entrepreneur. 

 I have slowly but surely been planting the seeds and preparing myself to head in that direction since I was 18 or 19.  I am a lifetime learner who enjoys learning for the sake of learning. As I progress in my career and my life path, it's just obvious. I like control of my schedule and I hate to feel boxed in by work schedules, I enjoy doing many things and I don't like doing the same types of things daily. Most important is the fact that I like to have direct control of my earnings. I feel like my work or lack thereof should directly affect my earnings. That can only fully happen when you work for yourself. 

 It may explain why I have never been 100% satisfied with any job I've ever had. In that same vein, I make sure to maximize every learning opportunity from any job I have and have had. But now, I think it's finally time to step into my season of true entrepreneurship and being my own boss. 

 So, I took a personal inventory of some of the things that have blocked me in the past:

 1) Fear (of failure, success, who knows?). Fear can be paralyzing and keep you in once place for much too long. 

 2) Lack of support/feeling of support. I feel like there is only a shortlist of people I can talk to about my business. My family is kind of supportive at a distance, but I have never had anyone in my life be really gung-ho about me starting a business/being an entrepreneur. I don't need anyone's approval, but it's always good to have moral and other support. In that same realm, I know my mom is more of a passive supporter. If I'm running a business and ask her to help me do some things, I know she would. 

 3) Lack of follow-through. Back in Spring 2016, I decided it was my time. I had a supplier, had invested money in hair to wear and try, a website, twitter account, IG account for my now-defunct Liam Luxe Virgin Hair and NOT a single sale. I kind of gave up and put it on the back burner to finish Nursing school. 

 What's different this time? I have to do this. I'm not happy with my current financial situation, I'm not happy with the current trajectory of my life and I'm finally ready and willing to put the muscle behind the movement. This is apart of a complete overhaul of my life. Yes, I am still going to get my RN degree and yes I still want to become a Nurse Practitioner. But in 2019 and for a few years now, multiple streams of income has been the name of the game. I need savings, healthy retirement fund and some better financial management. My finances, my health, my education and the way I'm currently progressing through life are not up to the standards I would like them to be. So it's that time again folks, a new season, a time for reinvention and most crucial, a time to become who I've always been meant to be. 
photo: Kat Wagers Studios
*Cheers to a new business, a better me and living my best life as Cicely Nurse & Entrepreneur*

 Until again,
Bougie Beauty Babe
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Attitude of Gratitude - end of 2018

December 18, 2018

It has been terribly long since I have penned a post. Sorry y'all. Life got in the way! Baaabbbyyyy, when I tell you this semester was one for the books...I mean it kicked my ass and turned me upside down lol.  BUT, "still I rise" lol. Y'all know I love my hyperbolic statements. I passed and now I'm on to my 3rd and FINAL semester of LPN school starting about a month from now on January 14.

When you had one HELL of a semester, but you survived and you out here letting your melanin push through and having expensive skin and living your best life lol.
So many things have transpired this semester and it literally has been a game of survival (mostly mentally). I left a job that I truly enjoyed, but that wasn't fulfilling emotionally nor financially anymore and went back to being FT in the hospital and freelancing in skincare/cosmetics. I left my hospital job in Cynthiana and moved to a larger hospital in Lexington. I have learned so much and it's helping me to truly decide if I want to do OB or Nursery/NICU. 

eating lunch after our last clinical

clinical group 

new job on postpartum and nursery


I was featured as a model in KY Bride Magazine (owwwwwww!). Itwas such an awesome experience. I got to be made up and try pretty dresses on for the day...not mad about it lol. I've been trying to get back into modeling because it's something that I miss. I got to shoot with a really cool chick named Geneva and we got some great shots to update my book :).

The spread. Dresses: Twirl, HMUAs: PinkLouLou, Photo: The Malicotes






photo by GRW Photography

Photo by GRW Photograpy

I also got to be a featured blogger for the Night Market which is a local Lexington initiative to bring a sense of community/neighborhood back to the North Limestone area. I personally know the woman who orchestrates in the 1st Friday of every month and she's so fucking awesome. Shout out to Samantha Johnson (SaManhattanPR), you the SHIT! thank you again for that opportunity. I will do a post on the NOLI Night Market once it resumes again in the Spring! 



Mom also finished her 1st semester of her ADN program successfully! #DontStopGetItGetIt . I'm so incredibly proud of my mama. 'Cuz I know the shit she had to go through to get to where she is and she's fucking amazing. Ain't nobody like my mama. Her resilience and determination is unmatched in my book. So congrats Mama!

Liam is thriving! This has been such a time of growth for him. ABA therapy is helping him grown by leaps and bounds. I'm so incredibly proud of him. I couldn't be happier with how he is doing. He is truly the sunshine of life  :).





I got to go see the Tapping Wizard himself Brad Yates in Cincinnati with Kristin back in October and had a blast! It was a really cool experience. He did it in a workshop style format and there was lots of participation It was awesome to see him in person.


So while this year hasn't all been roses and rainbows, I am truly thankful for growth. It seems like this year lasted 2 years lol and I will honestly be glad to see it gone. I'm awaiting the changes, challenges, surprises and triumphs that 2019 will bring including being a Nursing school grad in May!!! I promise to pen another post BEFORE May lol.

Until again,
Bougie Beauty Babe



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My Path to Nursing School

May 29, 2018

When I was growing up and even into my early adulthood. I had no idea that I wanted to be a nurse. The thought had never even crossed my mind without some encouragement from my mom. My mom has worked in the medical field for 21 years. She is a Certified Medical Assistant (now in the ADN program of a local college) whose aspiration was to always be a nurse. She is intelligent, observant, quick on her feet, a good critical thinker and overall she truly cares about people.

my Mama aka my inspiration


From helping her study for her Medical Assistant classes to helping her study for her National test. Being in the medical field has kind of always been a part of my life. But I had other plans. I wanted to be in a ward winning journalist covering news from war zones and impoverished areas around the world. I wanted to shed light on the plight of others in order to help them. I wanted to win a Pulitzer for groundbreaking and life-changing a new stories.
the coveted B.A. degree!

The recession that began in 2008 derail those plans and made me think about where I would go with my English and journalism degree. Then a year later I had Liam and I really had to begin to think about careers that would be profitable and allow me to raise a child as a single parent. I was also in a mountain of student loan debt so I had that think of.

Hellloooo single motherhood

It wasn't until a couple of years later when I was moving back to Kentucky that the idea and plan for nursing school really began. I started taking my prerequisite classes that next semester and the rest was history. I found like I had finally found my stride and was beginning to walk in my purpose. I began the associate degree nursing program at Eastern Kentucky University in the spring of 2013. That same semester my dad had life-changing heart surgery, Liam was officially diagnosed with autism and to top it all off I got mono 2 months into the semester.



I was devastated, I missed about two weeks of class but I pressed on thinking that I could successfully finish what I had started. That was not the case I failed out of my first semester of nursing school. That same semester I had also began working at the University of Kentucky hospital on a med-surg floor and continued to work at the hospital for 2 years and I honestly wasn't even sure if nursing was what I was meant to do anymore. The pay was shitty, the job was shitty and most importantly I did not find the purpose or pleasure and helping people because I was mentally and physically exhausted having to work overtime just to pay bills and make ends meet. At that same time I was still freelancing and beauty.
Med/Surge tech days :/
I left the hospital and returned beauty in October 2015. At that point, I had loosely made up my mind that I would stay in beauty because it paid a lot more than working as a tech in the hospital, I had normal hours and I also truly enjoyed what I was doing. When that no longer fulfilled me and made me happy, something told me that nursing was it.

Unfortunately my failing grade and the 9 credit class that nursing fundamentals was changed my GPA so my average was about a 2.2 or 2.3. I couldn't get into any nursing program with a GPA that low. A former coworker from the hospital told me about the LPN program at BCTC and I applied in Spring 2017. I was accepted to the program and I successfully finished my first semester of nursing school December 2017.

I had to take a semester break because my biology prerequisite is too old so I am repeating that class now, but I will resume second semester in the LPN program in August. LPN to RN to NP is a pretty long route, but I do truly believe it is the route I was meant to take.




I am still in a mountain of student debt and unless I go to grad school right now I have no more loans available to me because I have a Bachelor's degree. After the debacle from my first stint in nursing school, I have been a self pay student. I was blessed enough that last semester and fall semester I got a scholarship geared towards single parents with children under 12. I just received word a few weeks ago that I now have qualified for the actual nursing scholarship and all my tuition will be paid for fall semester and my last semester in the spring next year.

I feel like things are lining up in my favor it is now up to me to get all those letters after my name. Cicely Carter, LPN -> Cicely Carter, RN -> Cicely Carter, WHNP and/or Midwife. I shared that with you guys to let you know that there is more than one way to reach your destination. The key is you just gotta KEEP GOING.

Until again,

Bougie Beauty Babe
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