31 Lessons in 31 Years/31 Thangs About Me

February 1, 2019

When you grown. Photo by: Erica Lee Photography (2018)/ MUA: Makeup by Kristin Gray 


My favorite national holiday has circled back around another year: my birthday! I saw a post on ScaryMommy.com that inspired this blog and title. I wanted to share 31 truths I've learned in my 31 trips around the sun and mix in some fun facts about me. 

31. I can do bad all by myself.

30. "What you seek is seeking you" - Rumi

29.  Nothing happens before it's time. This is such a hard lesson to accept. But as I get older, I am more at ease. 

28. Quality ALWAYS outweighs quantity of friends. I have some of the best people in my circle and it is only a select few. 

27. "To thine ownself be true" - that sums it up for itself

26. A "no" doesn't mean forever, it just means right now. Be open and receptive to other options and possibilities you weren't considering. 

25. Nothing can ever happen if you don't take a chance. The older I get, the more hesitant I have become about making exciting, new, promising decisions. This was not a problem in my youth. I chalk that up to being a single mom in a single income household and bearing the brunt of the responsibility. What I have learned thus far in my womanhood/motherhood journey is that what works for me is usually what will work for Liam. If I can see the benefit for me and us as a family, then that's the green light. My parenting goal in this life is to raise a child/children who don't have to get therapy to recover from childhood trauma and to be present in my children's life. 

24. I have a secret desire to own a mini farm lol. I want a cow, about 3 dogs, 2 cats, chickens, a garden and a good size house on about 5 acres. Now, I don't know how to farm or garden, but I'm willing to learn lol. 

23. Motherhood for me has been one of THE most stressful, fulfilling and life-changing adventures and aside from having more money, there is absolutely nothing I would change.  

22. I used to have constant anxiety about providing for myself and my son, but EVERY TIME things work out for the best. "Won't He do it?!"

21. My favorite color is Cerulean.

20. I was born on a Monday.

19. Giorgio Armani Luminous Silk is my absolute favorite foundation (My color is #10 if anyone is feeling gifty lol).

18. I prefer lipgloss to lipstick, but love them both.

17. I am NOT a cat person, but my pound cat (got her from Lexington Human Society) Luna is my pride and joy lol.

16. My mama is one of my favorite people in this world. (That don't mean I don't love my Daddy because I certainly do)
photo by Christina Terrano/ HMUA: me

 15. I know with certainty in my heart that I will meet my soulmate/life partner this year. Don't ask me how I know, but I do.

14. I'm intuitive and as I like to joke, ALMOST psychic. I have a way of sensing/feeling things that I usually can't explain. I am an ENFJ personality.

13. Liam was on my short list of baby names and when I saw him for the first time, I knew the name I picked fit perfectly.

12. This is year 10 for me as a single mom. I'm a whole decade deep!

11. I've never been married, but come close...

10. I believe working on yourself is key to getting better in all aspects and to helping those around you.

9. A dream/goal of mine is to have my own talk show a la Oprah meets Ricki Lake with a dash of Cardi B lol

8. Nursing is a 2nd career for me.

7. I'm a candle junkie. I love candles. Check out www.hausofhoodoo.com and www.poshcandleco.com

6. I like to surround myself with positivity and flowers (I often by myself flowers)

5. Outside of childhood, I've only had two good Valentine's Days. But this year that will change (because I'm taking matters into my own hands)

4. I recorded my previous weight loss journey on Youtube...it's still up for you to see lol

3. There are very few people you can rely on in life. The ones you can, be sure to cherish and honor them while you have the chance. 

2. Be thankful/grateful every day. A positive mindset and outlook always spawn positive actions in your life. This is NON-negotiable. 

1. No love compares to the love you should/need to have for yourself. You have to love you first to love anyone else. That doesn't mean that you won't have your bad days and days of doubt, but you need to know that you are a BAMF all day erryday. Okuurrrrrrr? *Cardi*
photo by: Christina Terrano/HMUA: me



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$h!t I'm Leaving Behind in 2018

December 22, 2018


So that's it y'all. I'm not.with.the.shits.no.more!!! I have been deliveredt! lol 

photo cred: GRW Photography - Geneva Wilder

Here is a comprehensive list of shit I'm leaving behind in 2018 where the hell it belongs:


1) Dealing with people/things who are not an energetic match for me. You are not obligated to entertain anyone nor their bullshit!Your energy don't match mine? #Dassit. I'm out. A situation don't feel right? Peace.

2) Giving people the benefit of the doubt. You don't have to deal with excuses. If anyone knows ANYTHING about a busy,hectic, sKressful life...it's me. Yet I don't let that stop me from showing people I care, showing them that they're important to me and being as present as I can. 

3) Forgetting who the f%#k I am. I'm a queen raising a wonderful young man. We both deserve the very best in everything and anyone we deal with and I REFUSE to accept less. 

4) Forgetting to take care of me. It's high time to get my nails done, my hair did, regular massages and the whole nine. I'm overdue to get back to putting myself #1 again. I can't help Liam, my family nor my friends if I don't have my shit together. If I'm not mentally, physically spiritually in tune, how can I help anyone else do the same? Take care of you baby, 'cuz aint nobody else gonna do it. Treat yourself the way you want to be treated, literally! Can't nobody treat you and love you better than you. 

5) F&*k shit lol. I'm not entertaining it no more! I LITERALLY have no time for it. I know better so I HAVE TO do better. #Dassit

6) In relationships: trying to get a man to my level. IF you are not already there, there are 2 choices: A) I can stand back and love/care for you while you ascend/grow/develop to meet me where I'm at (if that is what he CHOOSES to do & he proves that he is worth said support/wait) or B) I can gracefully bow out knowing that I need and require more. *Kanye shrug* Sorry, NOT sorry. 

7) Being a mediocre student. I need to strive for excellence. I don't want just ok/passing grades, I want to excel. I want to push myself to be the best student I can be. IT HAS TO HAPPEN. I want to know my craft inside and out. Ain't no mediocre! 

8) Being bad at keeping up with people I love. My people know I be M.I.A., but Nursing school y'all... Promise I'll do better. 

9) Saying too much - While I love a good clap back and letting people know about themselves if they're wrong. Sometimes it is truly more beneficial to say less or nothing at all.  What is understood doesn't need to be said and that's one lesson I learned this year. What's gon' be will be and either way Imma keep living my life and doing me!

10) Complacency - Cut the shit and get real within! If I'm not happy with the trajectory of my life, change something. Complacency is a dream killer and nothing comes from it but staying in one place. If you want mobility and the ability to reach your goals, complacency is NOT for you. 

11) Procrastination - Stop it immediately! Like right now as you're reading this. I sometimes fall into this trap and it doesn't do anything but make me more stressed out lol. It doesn't serve you or anyone else in your life. Leave it behind today, rett nah! Make a daily TO DO list and put all those things you don't want to do at the top and knock those things out! 

12) Lowering standards and not setting boundaries - From this day forward, I will be crystal clear with my standards/intentions/boundaries. I will continue to manifest my dreams, manifest my dream life and dream partner and I won't settle for anything less. To do so would be criminal!

13) Anyone who belongs there....*cue Beyonce's "Sorry"*

photo cred: Geneva Wilder
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Attitude of Gratitude - end of 2018

December 18, 2018

It has been terribly long since I have penned a post. Sorry y'all. Life got in the way! Baaabbbyyyy, when I tell you this semester was one for the books...I mean it kicked my ass and turned me upside down lol.  BUT, "still I rise" lol. Y'all know I love my hyperbolic statements. I passed and now I'm on to my 3rd and FINAL semester of LPN school starting about a month from now on January 14.

When you had one HELL of a semester, but you survived and you out here letting your melanin push through and having expensive skin and living your best life lol.
So many things have transpired this semester and it literally has been a game of survival (mostly mentally). I left a job that I truly enjoyed, but that wasn't fulfilling emotionally nor financially anymore and went back to being FT in the hospital and freelancing in skincare/cosmetics. I left my hospital job in Cynthiana and moved to a larger hospital in Lexington. I have learned so much and it's helping me to truly decide if I want to do OB or Nursery/NICU. 

eating lunch after our last clinical

clinical group 

new job on postpartum and nursery


I was featured as a model in KY Bride Magazine (owwwwwww!). Itwas such an awesome experience. I got to be made up and try pretty dresses on for the day...not mad about it lol. I've been trying to get back into modeling because it's something that I miss. I got to shoot with a really cool chick named Geneva and we got some great shots to update my book :).

The spread. Dresses: Twirl, HMUAs: PinkLouLou, Photo: The Malicotes






photo by GRW Photography

Photo by GRW Photograpy

I also got to be a featured blogger for the Night Market which is a local Lexington initiative to bring a sense of community/neighborhood back to the North Limestone area. I personally know the woman who orchestrates in the 1st Friday of every month and she's so fucking awesome. Shout out to Samantha Johnson (SaManhattanPR), you the SHIT! thank you again for that opportunity. I will do a post on the NOLI Night Market once it resumes again in the Spring! 



Mom also finished her 1st semester of her ADN program successfully! #DontStopGetItGetIt . I'm so incredibly proud of my mama. 'Cuz I know the shit she had to go through to get to where she is and she's fucking amazing. Ain't nobody like my mama. Her resilience and determination is unmatched in my book. So congrats Mama!

Liam is thriving! This has been such a time of growth for him. ABA therapy is helping him grown by leaps and bounds. I'm so incredibly proud of him. I couldn't be happier with how he is doing. He is truly the sunshine of life  :).





I got to go see the Tapping Wizard himself Brad Yates in Cincinnati with Kristin back in October and had a blast! It was a really cool experience. He did it in a workshop style format and there was lots of participation It was awesome to see him in person.


So while this year hasn't all been roses and rainbows, I am truly thankful for growth. It seems like this year lasted 2 years lol and I will honestly be glad to see it gone. I'm awaiting the changes, challenges, surprises and triumphs that 2019 will bring including being a Nursing school grad in May!!! I promise to pen another post BEFORE May lol.

Until again,
Bougie Beauty Babe



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Vacation on the Spectrum

July 3, 2018

This past Father's Day Liam and I embarked on our first vacation as a mini family unit to Destin, Florida. Allegiant Airlines had a kick ass deal on their newly added route from LEX to VPS. Liam has traveled a few places in his 8 years here on Earth, but this was our first vacation just Mom and son. It was also my first time traveling alone with Liam since he was officially diagnosed on the spectrum.



We departed from Lexington and the flight was about 1.5 hours. It went surprisingly smooth because we had Liam's trusty iPad even though he slept for about 45 minutes. Our flight was a later flight, so even with the excitement, he/we were able to get some Zzzzzs in! (Thank ya jeezus). Also, working in our favor was the fact that we reside in Eastern time and the gulf coast of Florida is in Central time :).

The next 3 and 1/2 days were spent relaxing, beachin' and eating our way through the Gulf coast. The most important part of the trip for me and for Liam was that this was a deviation from his normal schedule and routine. It was a test for both of us to see how he handled it. He far surpassed my expectations.

There were no meltdowns and Liam was even willing to try new things like feeding donkeys, goats and llamas at a local wildlife reserve. Liam did exhibit some stimming behaviors (things that happen when he is overstimulated), but that was expected.

Here are a few tips for how we survived our 5 day, 4 night mini-vacay:

1) I had to explain to Liam EVERYTHING we did/were doing. So while we didn't truly have an itinerary, I made sure to keep some things constant. We basically revolved our activities around breakfast, lunch and dinner and that seemed to work pretty well.

2) Liam has never had an issue flying - I mean he literally took his first flight at 2 months old and has been in the air ever since. Electronics, a small blanket and me as a pillow helped. I also made sure he was well fed before our 8pm ish departure.

3) Back to the activity thing. I bought Groupons ahead of the trip so every day we had something to do. Sometimes twice. Liam went bowling for the first time, we went to the movies and did a little shopping, we went to the beach three times, we swam at the hotel pool , we went out to eat and we went to the zoo/wildlife reserve. I made sure not to pack too much into one day. I always wanted to relax. 
dinner at Bric A Brac restaurant

selfie before dinner

beach day 1







Arcade at Uncle Buck's Fishbowl (also a bowling alley)

4) I made sure he was able to bring some of his favorite play things from home (i.e. his iPad and his favorite stuffed animal teddy). While on our trip Teddy even gained companion. In the Emerald Coast Zoo gift shop we found Teddy's new BFF a wolf named by Liam, Howl.


5) We couldn't pack food, but I made sure to find a grocery store and buy some snacks. Liam is a snacky kinda guy and he needs his faves on demand (He currently loves Go-Go Squeeze yogurts and applesauces).

6) If you don't fit everything in or there are some deviations from the plans, don't sweat it. My biggest take away from this was that Liam can and will thrive in different situations with me there to redirect/guide. My main goal in life is to assure him that he can and will have to do these things without me one day and empower him to do it!

Henderson Beach State Park - Destin, FL

Until again,
Bougie Beauty Babe

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My Path to Nursing School

May 29, 2018

When I was growing up and even into my early adulthood. I had no idea that I wanted to be a nurse. The thought had never even crossed my mind without some encouragement from my mom. My mom has worked in the medical field for 21 years. She is a Certified Medical Assistant (now in the ADN program of a local college) whose aspiration was to always be a nurse. She is intelligent, observant, quick on her feet, a good critical thinker and overall she truly cares about people.

my Mama aka my inspiration


From helping her study for her Medical Assistant classes to helping her study for her National test. Being in the medical field has kind of always been a part of my life. But I had other plans. I wanted to be in a ward winning journalist covering news from war zones and impoverished areas around the world. I wanted to shed light on the plight of others in order to help them. I wanted to win a Pulitzer for groundbreaking and life-changing a new stories.
the coveted B.A. degree!

The recession that began in 2008 derail those plans and made me think about where I would go with my English and journalism degree. Then a year later I had Liam and I really had to begin to think about careers that would be profitable and allow me to raise a child as a single parent. I was also in a mountain of student loan debt so I had that think of.

Hellloooo single motherhood

It wasn't until a couple of years later when I was moving back to Kentucky that the idea and plan for nursing school really began. I started taking my prerequisite classes that next semester and the rest was history. I found like I had finally found my stride and was beginning to walk in my purpose. I began the associate degree nursing program at Eastern Kentucky University in the spring of 2013. That same semester my dad had life-changing heart surgery, Liam was officially diagnosed with autism and to top it all off I got mono 2 months into the semester.



I was devastated, I missed about two weeks of class but I pressed on thinking that I could successfully finish what I had started. That was not the case I failed out of my first semester of nursing school. That same semester I had also began working at the University of Kentucky hospital on a med-surg floor and continued to work at the hospital for 2 years and I honestly wasn't even sure if nursing was what I was meant to do anymore. The pay was shitty, the job was shitty and most importantly I did not find the purpose or pleasure and helping people because I was mentally and physically exhausted having to work overtime just to pay bills and make ends meet. At that same time I was still freelancing and beauty.
Med/Surge tech days :/
I left the hospital and returned beauty in October 2015. At that point, I had loosely made up my mind that I would stay in beauty because it paid a lot more than working as a tech in the hospital, I had normal hours and I also truly enjoyed what I was doing. When that no longer fulfilled me and made me happy, something told me that nursing was it.

Unfortunately my failing grade and the 9 credit class that nursing fundamentals was changed my GPA so my average was about a 2.2 or 2.3. I couldn't get into any nursing program with a GPA that low. A former coworker from the hospital told me about the LPN program at BCTC and I applied in Spring 2017. I was accepted to the program and I successfully finished my first semester of nursing school December 2017.

I had to take a semester break because my biology prerequisite is too old so I am repeating that class now, but I will resume second semester in the LPN program in August. LPN to RN to NP is a pretty long route, but I do truly believe it is the route I was meant to take.




I am still in a mountain of student debt and unless I go to grad school right now I have no more loans available to me because I have a Bachelor's degree. After the debacle from my first stint in nursing school, I have been a self pay student. I was blessed enough that last semester and fall semester I got a scholarship geared towards single parents with children under 12. I just received word a few weeks ago that I now have qualified for the actual nursing scholarship and all my tuition will be paid for fall semester and my last semester in the spring next year.

I feel like things are lining up in my favor it is now up to me to get all those letters after my name. Cicely Carter, LPN -> Cicely Carter, RN -> Cicely Carter, WHNP and/or Midwife. I shared that with you guys to let you know that there is more than one way to reach your destination. The key is you just gotta KEEP GOING.

Until again,

Bougie Beauty Babe
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