single mom

Heart Chakra Open AF

September 23, 2019






In the last few years, I've been doing a lot of soul searching; figuring out who I am, who I want to be and how to make those women meet. I have manifested so many wonderful things into my life in the past year and a half. I became a nurse this year, met an amazing man (J), landed a great nursing job and it looks like things are on a pretty positive course. Then, as of last week, I entered into a relationship with said amazing man that I manifested and the doubt began to creep in. 

I blogged before about self-sabotage and the negative effects it can have on your mentality and your life. Those feelings of unworthiness and flight began to set in for me this weekend. Although I didn't tell my new beau about these things at the time, I had to sit back and process why I was triggered and what I could do about it. To give a more in-depth understanding of how I was feeling, I first have to give you the break down:

1) December 2018: I decided that I was tired of the type of love I had been receiving and knew I deserved more. I signed up for a free challenge/FB group with a relationship with a coach named Crystal Irom. From this free class with Crystal, I eventually signed up for a 6 week paid course called Magnetize Your Match. She gave tips and tricks on how to hone in and be very specific about the type of man you want. We started with inner work on ourselves because you have to be right within or on that path to expect/call in someone of the same caliber. We were very broad about what we wanted in a partner and I made a list of about thirty or so qualities that I wanted in a man. By the end of the course, I had narrowed that down to five things that were non-negotiable for any man that I would enter into a romantic relationship with. 

2) January 2019: With my vision board already completed and my intention set for the year, I decided that 2019 would be the year that I met and found my husband. A couple weeks after making this proclamation I met J. From the day of our first date until now we have talked every single day.

Early on I knew that there was something special between us and that he was unlike any man I had ever dated before. He's kind, he's genuine, he's handsome, he cares about me and shows it and I can ask him to do anything and I know that he will at least try to help me out. These are the qualities I truly appreciate about him and I'm so thankful that I manifested him into my life.

3) January 2019- present: Even after months of daily phone calls/texts/Snaps,  spending time together, going on dates, cooking together, talking about our lives and our plans, he was hesitant to make the move from being friends to a relationship. We were finally able to have a heart-to-heart about that situation and made our relationship official last week. As someone who has dealt with more than one bad relationship, I understood and still understand his hesitation. It is a very hard recovery process to heal yourself and your heart when someone has done you dirty. But I knew then and know now that he is very special.

So over this past weekend, I began to have doubts. After how highly I've spoken of this man and how I feel about him, I began to wonder if I really wanted to be in a relationship at all. I took things slow with him on purpose and did things differently because I didn't want to get caught up in the wrong things and I wanted to make sure I knew the person that was coming into my life and eventually Liam's life too. He agreed to take things slow and never made it out like it was a problem. So there was never a doubt in my mind about how he felt about me judging by his words and actions. So where was this doubt and fear coming from?

After about a day of reflection, I realized that I'm not so much afraid of rejection or being broken up with. I am afraid of again being the person that heals a man and gets him ready for the next woman. I am afraid of pouring my heart and myself into another man and not receiving that love back. I am afraid of being too vulnerable and open to someone just to have it all fall apart and start from scratch with someone new. Of course, this realization came with a downpour of tears. 

At that moment, I fully understood why he was hesitant to be in a relationship in the first place. In his most recent and past experiences, things start off good, progressed fast and furious then things fell apart. He's a giver, a hard worker and puts his all into relationships. In my experience, I see the good and the potential in someone and want to help them to grow and develop because that is my love language. I'm also a giver, I'm loyal and I want a partnership. In 15 or so years of dating and a couple of serious relationships, I have never gotten back as much as I put in. Not even close. 

It's truly amazing the depths of the damage that we carry with us. I truly believed that I had sorted through most of my relationship blockages. I now realize that it's something that's going to take more time and I will have to truly do the deeper work to get to where I need to be. Shout out to one of my bffs Myia for being the voice of reason and other side of the coin that I needed to see things differently.

  I'm not looking for J to heal me or save me and it's not my intention to be that for him. If anything I hope to show him the same patience, kindness, and care he has shown me through. I'm looking forward to our relationship growing and developing into a lifetime of adventures, becoming a family (adding some members to that family as well), obstacles that we shatter, love, compromise, commitment, and most important choosing to work on these things daily together. Not relying on the other to bring us joy, but cultivating it from within and sharing it with one another. 


What is the vision you have for your next relationship? What do you desire in your future partner? If you've already met them, what about them do you love and appreciate? 

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Attitude of Gratitude - end of 2018

December 18, 2018

It has been terribly long since I have penned a post. Sorry y'all. Life got in the way! Baaabbbyyyy, when I tell you this semester was one for the books...I mean it kicked my ass and turned me upside down lol.  BUT, "still I rise" lol. Y'all know I love my hyperbolic statements. I passed and now I'm on to my 3rd and FINAL semester of LPN school starting about a month from now on January 14.

When you had one HELL of a semester, but you survived and you out here letting your melanin push through and having expensive skin and living your best life lol.
So many things have transpired this semester and it literally has been a game of survival (mostly mentally). I left a job that I truly enjoyed, but that wasn't fulfilling emotionally nor financially anymore and went back to being FT in the hospital and freelancing in skincare/cosmetics. I left my hospital job in Cynthiana and moved to a larger hospital in Lexington. I have learned so much and it's helping me to truly decide if I want to do OB or Nursery/NICU. 

eating lunch after our last clinical

clinical group 

new job on postpartum and nursery


I was featured as a model in KY Bride Magazine (owwwwwww!). Itwas such an awesome experience. I got to be made up and try pretty dresses on for the day...not mad about it lol. I've been trying to get back into modeling because it's something that I miss. I got to shoot with a really cool chick named Geneva and we got some great shots to update my book :).

The spread. Dresses: Twirl, HMUAs: PinkLouLou, Photo: The Malicotes






photo by GRW Photography

Photo by GRW Photograpy

I also got to be a featured blogger for the Night Market which is a local Lexington initiative to bring a sense of community/neighborhood back to the North Limestone area. I personally know the woman who orchestrates in the 1st Friday of every month and she's so fucking awesome. Shout out to Samantha Johnson (SaManhattanPR), you the SHIT! thank you again for that opportunity. I will do a post on the NOLI Night Market once it resumes again in the Spring! 



Mom also finished her 1st semester of her ADN program successfully! #DontStopGetItGetIt . I'm so incredibly proud of my mama. 'Cuz I know the shit she had to go through to get to where she is and she's fucking amazing. Ain't nobody like my mama. Her resilience and determination is unmatched in my book. So congrats Mama!

Liam is thriving! This has been such a time of growth for him. ABA therapy is helping him grown by leaps and bounds. I'm so incredibly proud of him. I couldn't be happier with how he is doing. He is truly the sunshine of life  :).





I got to go see the Tapping Wizard himself Brad Yates in Cincinnati with Kristin back in October and had a blast! It was a really cool experience. He did it in a workshop style format and there was lots of participation It was awesome to see him in person.


So while this year hasn't all been roses and rainbows, I am truly thankful for growth. It seems like this year lasted 2 years lol and I will honestly be glad to see it gone. I'm awaiting the changes, challenges, surprises and triumphs that 2019 will bring including being a Nursing school grad in May!!! I promise to pen another post BEFORE May lol.

Until again,
Bougie Beauty Babe



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Vacation on the Spectrum

July 3, 2018

This past Father's Day Liam and I embarked on our first vacation as a mini family unit to Destin, Florida. Allegiant Airlines had a kick ass deal on their newly added route from LEX to VPS. Liam has traveled a few places in his 8 years here on Earth, but this was our first vacation just Mom and son. It was also my first time traveling alone with Liam since he was officially diagnosed on the spectrum.



We departed from Lexington and the flight was about 1.5 hours. It went surprisingly smooth because we had Liam's trusty iPad even though he slept for about 45 minutes. Our flight was a later flight, so even with the excitement, he/we were able to get some Zzzzzs in! (Thank ya jeezus). Also, working in our favor was the fact that we reside in Eastern time and the gulf coast of Florida is in Central time :).

The next 3 and 1/2 days were spent relaxing, beachin' and eating our way through the Gulf coast. The most important part of the trip for me and for Liam was that this was a deviation from his normal schedule and routine. It was a test for both of us to see how he handled it. He far surpassed my expectations.

There were no meltdowns and Liam was even willing to try new things like feeding donkeys, goats and llamas at a local wildlife reserve. Liam did exhibit some stimming behaviors (things that happen when he is overstimulated), but that was expected.

Here are a few tips for how we survived our 5 day, 4 night mini-vacay:

1) I had to explain to Liam EVERYTHING we did/were doing. So while we didn't truly have an itinerary, I made sure to keep some things constant. We basically revolved our activities around breakfast, lunch and dinner and that seemed to work pretty well.

2) Liam has never had an issue flying - I mean he literally took his first flight at 2 months old and has been in the air ever since. Electronics, a small blanket and me as a pillow helped. I also made sure he was well fed before our 8pm ish departure.

3) Back to the activity thing. I bought Groupons ahead of the trip so every day we had something to do. Sometimes twice. Liam went bowling for the first time, we went to the movies and did a little shopping, we went to the beach three times, we swam at the hotel pool , we went out to eat and we went to the zoo/wildlife reserve. I made sure not to pack too much into one day. I always wanted to relax. 
dinner at Bric A Brac restaurant

selfie before dinner

beach day 1







Arcade at Uncle Buck's Fishbowl (also a bowling alley)

4) I made sure he was able to bring some of his favorite play things from home (i.e. his iPad and his favorite stuffed animal teddy). While on our trip Teddy even gained companion. In the Emerald Coast Zoo gift shop we found Teddy's new BFF a wolf named by Liam, Howl.


5) We couldn't pack food, but I made sure to find a grocery store and buy some snacks. Liam is a snacky kinda guy and he needs his faves on demand (He currently loves Go-Go Squeeze yogurts and applesauces).

6) If you don't fit everything in or there are some deviations from the plans, don't sweat it. My biggest take away from this was that Liam can and will thrive in different situations with me there to redirect/guide. My main goal in life is to assure him that he can and will have to do these things without me one day and empower him to do it!

Henderson Beach State Park - Destin, FL

Until again,
Bougie Beauty Babe

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Dear Future Husband

November 18, 2017

Image result for dear future husband

photo cred - Erica Lee Photography
"You lift my heart up
When the rest of me is down
You, you enchant me, even when you're not around
If there are boundaries, I will try to knock them down
I’m latching on babe
Now I know what I have found
I feel we're close enough
I wanna lock in your love
I think we’re close enough
Could I lock in your love, baby?"

 Dear Future Husband,

If you've made it this far...you have accomplished a feat no man has yet embarked...you married me! Lol You have calmed the savage beast - you understand this joke because you know how I am. You obviously know about my love of Sam Smith because his music will somehow be incorporated into our wedding festivities. Your winnings include: well ME lol, a lifetime of love, adventure, debates, witty/smart ass one liners, beautiful kids, someone who has got your back and most importantly a real life partner. 

As additional compensation, you will be spoiled, encouraged, motivated, supported and have a road dawg as you accomplish your dreams. You will have access to unlimited laughs on both good days and bad days. You will fall more in love with me daily as we take this journey together and learn more and more about each other.

It's not just about what one person can do for the other, but what we can do for each other. I also guarantee that I will only be selfish to the extent that is required to fill myself up until I am full enough to give from my cup to yours and everyone else's. I promise that in everything I do it will be with you and our family unit in mind first. I promise to make parenting a team effort. I will always keep you in the loop when making any sort of major decisions pertaining to our kids.

I will give you your space when needed. I truly understand the need to be alone and decompress sometimes. I vow to let you grow at your own pace and support you in that process of change. I promise to chronicle the best part of our lives together in an anthology of poetry. I usually can only write when I am heartbroken or my heart is full. Your task is to keep me feeling like the latter. I'll cook for you and with you. We'll have regular date nights even if that has to be at home in our own space. 

In return, all I ask of you is the aforementioned and more. I require your attention, affection, protection, love and fidelity. I require your best. I don't want pieces of you, but the whole thing. I don't want to be told what you think I want to hear, but what you truly feel and mean. It's pertinent that you hear me, listen to me and that we can find solutions together. Our relationship won't be perfect because we aren't, but as long as we communicate we can solve any problem. 

Physically, let's just say we're all adults here and you can let your imagination roam...I'll be your Dorothy in the streets and Blanche in the sheets lmfao. We'll stimulate each other's minds and bodies and use our time together to explore and discover. 

I promise the story we write together will be done of love, respect, kindness and perseverance. A life filled with laughter, happiness, kids, family and strength in the face of adversity. We'll be two lives intertwined into one unit, us against the world. 

 If for ever, any reason you become a different person with different needs who can no longer provide the love and care you once did to me and ours, it might be time for you to go. Love does not hurt, but love does grow and change. If your love changes in a way that can't be fixed, let me go. I promise to love you enough to do the same. 

With love,
Your future wife,
Cicely aka the Bougie Beauty Babe

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Bougie On A Budget

April 3, 2017

By now you should know I have a penchant for all things bougie. BUT while my heart desires designer labels, curated experiences and the best that life has to offer, but pockets are screaming "Don't do it girl", "Think again" and "#ByeFelicia" lol. I'm going to share some of my tricks of the trade if you will that have enabled me to enjoy life without always paying full price! This is especially pertinent for students and moms (holla at me single moms). Please feel free to add your suggestions in the comments! I'd love to update and revise this starter list.

the face you make when you out here finessin' these fianaces

Ways to Be Bougie On a Budget (aka Finessin' These Finances)

1) Groupon - is and ALWAYS will be my A1 from day 1. Groupon was shootin' with me in the gym...but really. I have used Groupon since my days in NYC and it has paid off. I have been able to enjoy various activities in different states because of the wonder that is G-pon. Hats off to the founders of this wondrous company! I spent about $30 for 4 activities for me and the kids this week. That's 4 activities for 4 people for $30!!! 

2) Library - Having worked at the Lexington Public Library, they offer so many services and programs to kids and families FOR FREE! Literally it's as simple as clicking on their website and searching the master calendar to find an activity for adults, teens and kids alike. TRY IT! 

3) Kids Eat Free/Cheap days - Yeah I said it! lol There is NO shame in my game. I honestly cannot afford to spend $50+ every time our family of 3 or 5 goes out to eat. That is money out the window to me especially considering how much we spend on groceries! 

4) Where it counts, buy in BULK - I have found that bulk purchasing does not work for every facet of my life, but on things you know will be used on a daily basis, it makes cents (see what I did there?) to purchase large quantities. Costco and Sam's are my go-to's because they are the only ones in my area. What do I buy in bulk? Laundry detergent, dish washing detergent, seasoning/condiments, bottled water, toilet paper (like seriously do kids eat this stuff?!? lol), paper towels (again...we must be eating this stuff), soap and body wash, coffee and some fruit and veggies 

5) Ebates - Get this app on your phone and then attach this mug to your browser! It will save your life. For purchasing things you normally would or have to online, you get varying percentages back on your total purchase price. I've seen this go as high as 18%, Groupon last week and this week was 9%!  Click the link below to check it out and get $ for putting your friends on to savings!  https://www.ebates.com/r/MISSCI116?eeid=28187

6) Couponing - While I am not really good at this, if you have the time and effort to put into it I have seen it yield amazing results. You can Google how to coupon and will find tutorials from people of all walks of life. 

7) Don't eat out unless you have a discount - I used to spend like $40 a week on fast food and other stuff while working at the mall. Now that I'm doing hCG I have spent maybe $15 total in 2 weeks. Such a great way of saving. Just heed my advice...DON'T DO IT Y'ALL lol  

8) Employee discounts - Because I love beauty and the beauty industry, I have always in some capacity worked in beauty. Working in retail affords me a 25% discount of regularly priced cosmetics/ sale cosmetics and discounted clothing and other items. Working at the medspa enables me to get services at cost and products at cost as well. 

9) NEVER or RARELY buy clothing/shoes/hair care products or really anything at full price - I use my work discount on already discounted items and/or I go to Goodwill/thrift stores to get pieces for me, L, the girls and J. For hair products I try to wait for my favorite products to go on sale, shop for them online through Ebates and/or take advantage of brand specific discount codes! Discount codes = LIFE lol. 

Have any more tips to share? Comment below and I will add to the list and include you and your contribution. 

Until again,
Bougie Beauty Babe
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Nursing School With a Purpose

April 2, 2017


This time 2.5 years ago. I won't be going back to EKU, but I'm back in 

As of a few days ago, I am officially accepted into Nursing school (for the 2nd time) ! This signifies so many things for me. It's a 2nd chance to get my shit together and the opportunity to live out my purpose and have the autonomy, education and financial ability to do some of the things I dream about. My goal is to be a Nurse entrepreneur in some capacity interlacing my passion for women's issues, a holistic lifestyle and my affinity for one on one interactions and relationship building.

I want the career mobility to be able to find a job literally anywhere. I want the ability to showcase my talents and truly and positively impact the lives of others. Retail cosmetics can never fill that void for me even though it's where I have spent the majority of my 20s. I want a career where I can use my brain and my empathy. I want to actually see the fruits of my labor. I am passionate about women's health. I truly believe when women are empowered in all walks of their lives it makes them better and better for their families.

I'm in this for the long haul as my eventual goal is to be a Nurse Practitioner with a DNP.  First LPN, then RN, MSN and finally DNP. I know there is so much I can bring to the profession and so much I have to offer to my future patients. I'm excited to start living in my purpose for the first time in a long time!

Until again,
Bougie Beauty Babe
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Parenting and Autism

January 2, 2017

selfie circa 2013 :) 

L was officially diagnosed with ASD December 2013, right before I started Nursing school and in the midst of my dad having some serious health issues. I had suspected it and had been spending the previous 18 months trying to get him diagnosed and get the services he needs. I felt like I was constantly battling to get him and help and make sure he didn't fall behind.

I was devastated the first time I realized L might be on the Autism spectrum. I was 100% sure it was caused by something I did or didn't do and was so scared that he would never live a "normal" life. It literally sounds crazy now, but remembering those early days, it is exactly how I felt. I became a Mom at 21 and I know so much more now 7 years later than I did then.

I wanted to give some anectodal advice and some things that were true for me in our Autism journey thus far:

1) get support. Hopefully you have family or a strong support system who can help you emotionally and physically during this time.

2) Educate yourself. Read books on Autism. Research some of your child's symptoms. Think about changing their diet. Think about changing your interaction with your child. There are so many things that we feel helpless over, but upon observing and really tuning into what your kid is telling you, you can learn so much.

3) Cry it out. Let me say it again: CRY.IT.OUT. There were more than a few days where I felt helpless and defeated. On those days I had a good soul cry and then carried on my Bougie Mama duties like a bad ass lol. IT happens, you need to let it happen.

4) Love your child! You son or daughter is NOT Autism (or whatever his/her condition may be) Your son or daughter has a neurgological disorder that will affect him/her for the rest of their lives, BUT they should NOT be defined soley by their disease. L has Autism, but I don't let it define all he is or who he will become.

5) Take care of yourself! In order for you as a mom or dad to be on your A game, you HAVE to take care of yourself. This is particularly hard for special needs parents to do, but it is OH SO necessary. At one point in my life (a point I am actively working on), I was working out and in the gym 4-5 days a week and felt the best I ever have. I was vibrant, happy and was better equipped to tackle the mental and physical stressors of my day!

I'm still new on my journey as a parent and as an Autism Mom, but I hope this post reached you in a positive way and helped a little bit on your own journey! :)

Until again,
Bougie Beauty Babe
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