beauty at any size

31 Lessons in 31 Years/31 Thangs About Me

February 1, 2019

When you grown. Photo by: Erica Lee Photography (2018)/ MUA: Makeup by Kristin Gray 


My favorite national holiday has circled back around another year: my birthday! I saw a post on ScaryMommy.com that inspired this blog and title. I wanted to share 31 truths I've learned in my 31 trips around the sun and mix in some fun facts about me. 

31. I can do bad all by myself.

30. "What you seek is seeking you" - Rumi

29.  Nothing happens before it's time. This is such a hard lesson to accept. But as I get older, I am more at ease. 

28. Quality ALWAYS outweighs quantity of friends. I have some of the best people in my circle and it is only a select few. 

27. "To thine ownself be true" - that sums it up for itself

26. A "no" doesn't mean forever, it just means right now. Be open and receptive to other options and possibilities you weren't considering. 

25. Nothing can ever happen if you don't take a chance. The older I get, the more hesitant I have become about making exciting, new, promising decisions. This was not a problem in my youth. I chalk that up to being a single mom in a single income household and bearing the brunt of the responsibility. What I have learned thus far in my womanhood/motherhood journey is that what works for me is usually what will work for Liam. If I can see the benefit for me and us as a family, then that's the green light. My parenting goal in this life is to raise a child/children who don't have to get therapy to recover from childhood trauma and to be present in my children's life. 

24. I have a secret desire to own a mini farm lol. I want a cow, about 3 dogs, 2 cats, chickens, a garden and a good size house on about 5 acres. Now, I don't know how to farm or garden, but I'm willing to learn lol. 

23. Motherhood for me has been one of THE most stressful, fulfilling and life-changing adventures and aside from having more money, there is absolutely nothing I would change.  

22. I used to have constant anxiety about providing for myself and my son, but EVERY TIME things work out for the best. "Won't He do it?!"

21. My favorite color is Cerulean.

20. I was born on a Monday.

19. Giorgio Armani Luminous Silk is my absolute favorite foundation (My color is #10 if anyone is feeling gifty lol).

18. I prefer lipgloss to lipstick, but love them both.

17. I am NOT a cat person, but my pound cat (got her from Lexington Human Society) Luna is my pride and joy lol.

16. My mama is one of my favorite people in this world. (That don't mean I don't love my Daddy because I certainly do)
photo by Christina Terrano/ HMUA: me

 15. I know with certainty in my heart that I will meet my soulmate/life partner this year. Don't ask me how I know, but I do.

14. I'm intuitive and as I like to joke, ALMOST psychic. I have a way of sensing/feeling things that I usually can't explain. I am an ENFJ personality.

13. Liam was on my short list of baby names and when I saw him for the first time, I knew the name I picked fit perfectly.

12. This is year 10 for me as a single mom. I'm a whole decade deep!

11. I've never been married, but come close...

10. I believe working on yourself is key to getting better in all aspects and to helping those around you.

9. A dream/goal of mine is to have my own talk show a la Oprah meets Ricki Lake with a dash of Cardi B lol

8. Nursing is a 2nd career for me.

7. I'm a candle junkie. I love candles. Check out www.hausofhoodoo.com and www.poshcandleco.com

6. I like to surround myself with positivity and flowers (I often by myself flowers)

5. Outside of childhood, I've only had two good Valentine's Days. But this year that will change (because I'm taking matters into my own hands)

4. I recorded my previous weight loss journey on Youtube...it's still up for you to see lol

3. There are very few people you can rely on in life. The ones you can, be sure to cherish and honor them while you have the chance. 

2. Be thankful/grateful every day. A positive mindset and outlook always spawn positive actions in your life. This is NON-negotiable. 

1. No love compares to the love you should/need to have for yourself. You have to love you first to love anyone else. That doesn't mean that you won't have your bad days and days of doubt, but you need to know that you are a BAMF all day erryday. Okuurrrrrrr? *Cardi*
photo by: Christina Terrano/HMUA: me



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Living Your Best Life

March 3, 2017

I jokingly use this phrase, but I really mean it. When I see my friends and family out here succeeding and doing great things, I tell them they are "living their best life". I mean living a life so good that you can see the happiness radiating and the joy of life spilling from their pores. True happiness, purposeful living and creating an amazing life,

I realized also that I have been not doing enough of that! I talk to God very casually instead of doing what I call traditional prayer. I talk to God and ask him to show me what he wants me to do, ask him what he has for me and to grant me the patience to wait on it. In 29 years, I can say that His timing has always been right. I truly believe that God can speak to and through us. It is up to us to read and see the signs.

I am way more spiritual than religious. The life lessons and things I believe I have discovered in my spirituality far surpass anything I have experienced in life. I am still trying to decipher sometimes what God wants for me and how I can get to live the life I want and feel I deserve, but I feel confident that I will get there.

But now cha'girl is on some new-new! I'm going to be one of those people I accuse of living their best life. I am literally ALWAYS telling people that they can do things and have the power within them, but I'm not practicing what I preach. So on March 3, 2017, here's to living your best muthafucking life! May you stumble, may you learn, may you fail, may you succeed, but most importantly may you do it on YOUR own terms.

The face you make when you out here comin' for what's yours to get! 


Until again,
Bougie Beauty Babe
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Too Much Booty Babe?

February 27, 2017

I have never been petite. Like at all. EVER. in my life. Unless you count birth and the couple of years thereafter lol. Growing up I was always a bigger child, both in height and size, but was definitely active. I played basketball from age 6/7 until I was 17. I did Gymnastics for a small stint and generally loved to be outdoors and being active when I wasn't reading a book. 

As women, we are constantly scrutinizing and criticizing our bodies. It's actually pretty fucking sad because women are such magical and amazing beings! At my best I have lost about 75 pounds and kept it off for about a year. Getting out of healthy habits and not making time for exercise caused me to gain all of that weight back and then more. I'm truly thankful that my blood tests have always good, my hormones are not out of whack, but I still struggle with my wright. I realize that some people are predisposed to gain weight easily and have to always be mindful of the things they're eating. I am one of those people and it will be a struggle for me always. That is not to say that I can't lose weight or that I am incapable of being slim, but the societal and medical standards to which I am supposed to adhere will probably never happen for me and I'm okay with that.

thick slim lol 


My 20s have been a roller coaster of weights, but I do try to maintain at least some healthy practices. I love drinking copious amounts of water (FIJI if I'm gettin' REAL bougie lol). At my fittest and happiest, I enjoyed working out 4 to 5 days a week for 30 minutes to an hour. And although not very fun I do enjoy eating relatively clean because I love how my body feels and how it reacts i.e. weight loss.

me last year trying to get my mojo back. I did a before video

Although most women struggle with weight during pregnancy and have some body image issues, my weight decreased when pregnant with L and my body image issues were much better while pregnant. I appreciated my body for the fat burning, baby making machine that it was and I ate healthy, stayed active and felt great for the majority of my pregnancy. Now eight years later and significantly heavier than I was pregnant with L, I am feeling the strain of this extra weight and also the changes that come along with being older and having more weight on my joints and the rest of my body.

I love myself and my body currently, I know that fitness needs to be an integral part of my life again. I come from a family with multiple maladies and I know at this point the only way to avoid or lessen the chance of developing these illnesses is to get my weight under control and be commit a lifetime of healthy eating and exercising. These are also things that I would love to pass on to L and to engage in physical activity as a family.

me at one of my heavier weights in 2015, but still #iSlay

So this post is me taking a stand once again against my weight and continuing onto the next leg of my weight loss journey. I have to do this for myself, my son and my overall well being. I'm always gonna have bawdy, but I'd rather keep it on the less gut more but tip lol. We have one body and one life and I am literally going to try to do my best to treat both like the treasures they are!

Until again,
Bougie Beauty Babe 



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