I'm NOT Superwoman
March 27, 2018
By bestowing upon me this title, you unknowingly inflate my abilities to a superhuman level. I'm NOT super woman. I am weak, vulnerable, emotional and muhfuggin tide! This is not to degrade myself or draw attention to my shortcomings, but this is my reality. I'm a single mom to special needs child who barely has her shit together. I concoct these amazing ideas to get/save/use money and somehow they always end up leading me further from the things I truly love and the people that mean the most to me.
I'm an overachiever, I cannot be convinced unless by my own convincing that something may not be a good idea. I'm stubborn and tenacious. I won't take no for an answer. I'm so many things, but the most important to remember is that I'm human. I cry (a lot these days), I fuck up sometimes (more often then I would like to admit) and I rarely have shit figured out. I feel like most days I'm truly flying by the seat of my pants.
What do I even have going for me? I love; deeply and honestly and with dedication. I always try. Even when I fail or fall short, I have put in the best effort and done things to the best of my ability. I'm honest. I see the good in people and try to make the best of any and every situation. I try to find the lesson in things that don't go right.
I'm not superwoman, but I AM super and I AM a woman. My super powers lie within. They lie within my ability to work hard daily to become a better and the best me that I can be!
Until again,
Bougie Beauty Babe
2018 Finna Be Lit
January 13, 2018
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| bringing in the new year with my favorite human being |
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| the 2nd love of my life lmfao! |
I 'm late AF per usual with my posting, but I promise I only write with great and positive news. My vision board was made and dang near completed about a month ago. I have had so many great experiences to draw inspiration from.
I finished my first semester of my LPN program with a 3.2! That's 2 Bs and an A. I'm soooo not mad about it! I had to withdraw from BIO because I was crashing and burning in the class due to not being able to keep up from the start of class, but I am retaking it this semester and I'm not settling for anything less than a B! Also, I am considering transferring to Midway's night program. I'd get my ADN and be that much closer to MSN. If that doesn't pan out I will stay at BCTC and finish the LPN program or transfer to Midway as an LPN instead. I've got options.
I started working another job (full time for a couple of months and then I will go to every other weekend). I'm working on an OB unit with both moms and babies. Y'all already know my heart is full! I'm on night shift by choice so I will be on Walking Dead mode for the next couple of months.
I'm taking a Creative Writing class this semester for kicks and because I miss writing. Shout out to CS for helping me realize just how much I truly needed to write again. I'm already geeked about the first assignment and truly looking forward to producing some great works over the next couple of months.
Liam finally got to resume his in-home behavior therapy and we have a great babysitter that both Liam and Luna love! Soon we hope to dive into ABA in the clinical setting at the center. My pockets are a little slimmer because of it, but she does homework with him, has taken him on some play dates and even offers to help out around the house. She's a really good kid and I'm glad to have found her.
In other news, I'm hoping to be a guest writer on a blog for bougie mamas lol :). How fitting right? I also plan to do more for this blog and be more active. Consistency is key. Stay on the lookout y'all for many more thangs to come. I'm hype about this year. Hype about my future and hype about ME! This is my time for ultimate self care and living my best life by my terms. I feel it in my bones.
Love and light y'all,
Bougie Beauty Babe
29
blackgirlmagic
dear future husband
don't kill my vibe
I'm lit
live your best life
love
marriage
my husband will be lit
my marriage will be lit
no negativity bih
single mom
single parent
Dear Future Husband
November 18, 2017
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| photo cred - Erica Lee Photography |
"You lift my heart up
When the rest of me is down
You, you enchant me, even when you're not around
If there are boundaries, I will try to knock them down
I’m latching on babe
Now I know what I have found
I feel we're close enough
I wanna lock in your love
I think we’re close enough
Could I lock in your love, baby?"
Dear Future Husband,
If you've made it this far...you have accomplished a feat no man has yet embarked...you married me! Lol You have calmed the savage beast - you understand this joke because you know how I am. You obviously know about my love of Sam Smith because his music will somehow be incorporated into our wedding festivities. Your winnings include: well ME lol, a lifetime of love, adventure, debates, witty/smart ass one liners, beautiful kids, someone who has got your back and most importantly a real life partner.
As additional compensation, you will be spoiled, encouraged, motivated, supported and have a road dawg as you accomplish your dreams. You will have access to unlimited laughs on both good days and bad days. You will fall more in love with me daily as we take this journey together and learn more and more about each other.
It's not just about what one person can do for the other, but what we can do for each other. I also guarantee that I will only be selfish to the extent that is required to fill myself up until I am full enough to give from my cup to yours and everyone else's. I promise that in everything I do it will be with you and our family unit in mind first. I promise to make parenting a team effort. I will always keep you in the loop when making any sort of major decisions pertaining to our kids.
I will give you your space when needed. I truly understand the need to be alone and decompress sometimes. I vow to let you grow at your own pace and support you in that process of change. I promise to chronicle the best part of our lives together in an anthology of poetry. I usually can only write when I am heartbroken or my heart is full. Your task is to keep me feeling like the latter. I'll cook for you and with you. We'll have regular date nights even if that has to be at home in our own space.
In return, all I ask of you is the aforementioned and more. I require your attention, affection, protection, love and fidelity. I require your best. I don't want pieces of you, but the whole thing. I don't want to be told what you think I want to hear, but what you truly feel and mean. It's pertinent that you hear me, listen to me and that we can find solutions together. Our relationship won't be perfect because we aren't, but as long as we communicate we can solve any problem.
Physically, let's just say we're all adults here and you can let your imagination roam...I'll be your Dorothy in the streets and Blanche in the sheets lmfao. We'll stimulate each other's minds and bodies and use our time together to explore and discover.
I promise the story we write together will be done of love, respect, kindness and perseverance. A life filled with laughter, happiness, kids, family and strength in the face of adversity. We'll be two lives intertwined into one unit, us against the world.
If for ever, any reason you become a different person with different needs who can no longer provide the love and care you once did to me and ours, it might be time for you to go. Love does not hurt, but love does grow and change. If your love changes in a way that can't be fixed, let me go. I promise to love you enough to do the same.
If for ever, any reason you become a different person with different needs who can no longer provide the love and care you once did to me and ours, it might be time for you to go. Love does not hurt, but love does grow and change. If your love changes in a way that can't be fixed, let me go. I promise to love you enough to do the same.
With love,
Your future wife,
Cicely aka the Bougie Beauty Babe
No Ordinary Love
October 25, 2017
"I gave you all the love I got
I gave you more than I could give
I gave you love
I gave you all that I have inside
And you took my love
You took my love
Didn't I tell you
What I believe
Did somebody say that
A love like that won't last
Didn't I give you
All that I've got to give baby "
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| photo: Staci Marie Photo, MUA: Pose Artistry |
Break ups are super shitty. I have never opened up about one on a blog before now. Guess there's a first time for everything! Some of the greatest pain I've ever felt is loving someone you KNOW is not right for you. I mean you know so deeply that your own conscious is like GIRL!!! I'm intuitive, yet my heart wants to believe in the good in people. My brain says face the facts, but my heart leads me into all sorts of painful situations. I'm not going to dwell on the pain, but yet on the many lessons I'm taking from it. Love is such a beautiful and powerful, intangible thing when it happens between the right people. The right love is force. I'm going to give you some introspection on what I NOW know after loving and giving of myself to the same person for close to 4 years:
Love Lesson 1 : What you allow will continue. EVERY. SINGLE.TIME. You set the precedent, the groundwork, the expectation for how you want to be treated by your partner.
Love Lesson 2: Don't let your unhappiness turn you into someone you are not. IF your relationship/partner is not helping you to be the best version of yourself and live your very best life..."you needa CUT IT!"
Love Lesson 3: The kids are aware. Kids pay attention to your relationships and interactions with others. They are ALWAYS watching. Make sure that the relationships you have with others (especially romantic) set the tone for the way your child(ren) will see relationships in a positive light and will hopefully go on to emulate as they get older.
Love Lesson 4: You can NOT give from an empty cup. Self care and then everyone else care. You can't give of yourself what you literally don't have to give. Fill your cup and keep that baby full until you have enough to share with those who deserve it the most.
Love Lesson 5: Be with someone who lifts you up. Mentally, physically and emotionally. Be a positive force in their lives, but most importantly be GETTING that in return. What good is all the positive energy you're sharing with someone and the positive force you're being for them if they can't or won't reciprocate?
Love Lesson 5: Be with someone who lifts you up. Mentally, physically and emotionally. Be a positive force in their lives, but most importantly be GETTING that in return. What good is all the positive energy you're sharing with someone and the positive force you're being for them if they can't or won't reciprocate?
Love Lesson 6 : If a man can't give me that 90s R&B, weak in the knees, Anthony Hamilton "The Point of It All", makes my heart skip a beat, makes me want to be the queen to his king, wife to his husband, buy a house and have a whole few more babies, a dog, cat, makes me wanna take him home to meet my mama and 'nem, putting up with my moods and quirks, oh i think that I found myself a cheer-lead-er, enjoys giving massages, listens to my poetry, always thinking of me first and then himself, wants to raise a stepson, writes lyrics about me, tells me I'm beautiful every day, wants to build a future, yin to my yang, willing to walk to the ends of the Earth for me, showing AND telling kinda love.....I DON'T FUCKING WANT IT! If a man is not willing to do that and more....#ByeFelipe. I already know what I have given to men who didn't deserve it, I can only imagine what I can give to someone who gives me REAL LOVE.
Until again,
Bougie Beauty Babe
Turning 8 is Great!
October 7, 2017
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| My handsome boy. I just love his eyes and his sweet soul. <3 |
I can't believe that my little baby will be 8 years old on October 16. I definitely feel like he just got here. I remember my pregnancy with Liam and the moments leading up to his birth so clearly! Although at the time I'm writing this his birthday is a little over a week away, in true bougie fashion I had some pictures taken of him and me.
He was long overdue for some portraits and it had been almost four years since we had pictures done together. I'm so excited to have these memories captured on film. Life with my Liam is beautiful. I wouldn't trade any of it for the world.
So without further ado, here are some favorites from our shoot! Enjoy :).
Until again,
Bougie Beauty Babe
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