single parent

Vacation on the Spectrum

July 3, 2018

This past Father's Day Liam and I embarked on our first vacation as a mini family unit to Destin, Florida. Allegiant Airlines had a kick ass deal on their newly added route from LEX to VPS. Liam has traveled a few places in his 8 years here on Earth, but this was our first vacation just Mom and son. It was also my first time traveling alone with Liam since he was officially diagnosed on the spectrum.



We departed from Lexington and the flight was about 1.5 hours. It went surprisingly smooth because we had Liam's trusty iPad even though he slept for about 45 minutes. Our flight was a later flight, so even with the excitement, he/we were able to get some Zzzzzs in! (Thank ya jeezus). Also, working in our favor was the fact that we reside in Eastern time and the gulf coast of Florida is in Central time :).

The next 3 and 1/2 days were spent relaxing, beachin' and eating our way through the Gulf coast. The most important part of the trip for me and for Liam was that this was a deviation from his normal schedule and routine. It was a test for both of us to see how he handled it. He far surpassed my expectations.

There were no meltdowns and Liam was even willing to try new things like feeding donkeys, goats and llamas at a local wildlife reserve. Liam did exhibit some stimming behaviors (things that happen when he is overstimulated), but that was expected.

Here are a few tips for how we survived our 5 day, 4 night mini-vacay:

1) I had to explain to Liam EVERYTHING we did/were doing. So while we didn't truly have an itinerary, I made sure to keep some things constant. We basically revolved our activities around breakfast, lunch and dinner and that seemed to work pretty well.

2) Liam has never had an issue flying - I mean he literally took his first flight at 2 months old and has been in the air ever since. Electronics, a small blanket and me as a pillow helped. I also made sure he was well fed before our 8pm ish departure.

3) Back to the activity thing. I bought Groupons ahead of the trip so every day we had something to do. Sometimes twice. Liam went bowling for the first time, we went to the movies and did a little shopping, we went to the beach three times, we swam at the hotel pool , we went out to eat and we went to the zoo/wildlife reserve. I made sure not to pack too much into one day. I always wanted to relax. 
dinner at Bric A Brac restaurant

selfie before dinner

beach day 1







Arcade at Uncle Buck's Fishbowl (also a bowling alley)

4) I made sure he was able to bring some of his favorite play things from home (i.e. his iPad and his favorite stuffed animal teddy). While on our trip Teddy even gained companion. In the Emerald Coast Zoo gift shop we found Teddy's new BFF a wolf named by Liam, Howl.


5) We couldn't pack food, but I made sure to find a grocery store and buy some snacks. Liam is a snacky kinda guy and he needs his faves on demand (He currently loves Go-Go Squeeze yogurts and applesauces).

6) If you don't fit everything in or there are some deviations from the plans, don't sweat it. My biggest take away from this was that Liam can and will thrive in different situations with me there to redirect/guide. My main goal in life is to assure him that he can and will have to do these things without me one day and empower him to do it!

Henderson Beach State Park - Destin, FL

Until again,
Bougie Beauty Babe

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Dear Future Husband

November 18, 2017

Image result for dear future husband

photo cred - Erica Lee Photography
"You lift my heart up
When the rest of me is down
You, you enchant me, even when you're not around
If there are boundaries, I will try to knock them down
I’m latching on babe
Now I know what I have found
I feel we're close enough
I wanna lock in your love
I think we’re close enough
Could I lock in your love, baby?"

 Dear Future Husband,

If you've made it this far...you have accomplished a feat no man has yet embarked...you married me! Lol You have calmed the savage beast - you understand this joke because you know how I am. You obviously know about my love of Sam Smith because his music will somehow be incorporated into our wedding festivities. Your winnings include: well ME lol, a lifetime of love, adventure, debates, witty/smart ass one liners, beautiful kids, someone who has got your back and most importantly a real life partner. 

As additional compensation, you will be spoiled, encouraged, motivated, supported and have a road dawg as you accomplish your dreams. You will have access to unlimited laughs on both good days and bad days. You will fall more in love with me daily as we take this journey together and learn more and more about each other.

It's not just about what one person can do for the other, but what we can do for each other. I also guarantee that I will only be selfish to the extent that is required to fill myself up until I am full enough to give from my cup to yours and everyone else's. I promise that in everything I do it will be with you and our family unit in mind first. I promise to make parenting a team effort. I will always keep you in the loop when making any sort of major decisions pertaining to our kids.

I will give you your space when needed. I truly understand the need to be alone and decompress sometimes. I vow to let you grow at your own pace and support you in that process of change. I promise to chronicle the best part of our lives together in an anthology of poetry. I usually can only write when I am heartbroken or my heart is full. Your task is to keep me feeling like the latter. I'll cook for you and with you. We'll have regular date nights even if that has to be at home in our own space. 

In return, all I ask of you is the aforementioned and more. I require your attention, affection, protection, love and fidelity. I require your best. I don't want pieces of you, but the whole thing. I don't want to be told what you think I want to hear, but what you truly feel and mean. It's pertinent that you hear me, listen to me and that we can find solutions together. Our relationship won't be perfect because we aren't, but as long as we communicate we can solve any problem. 

Physically, let's just say we're all adults here and you can let your imagination roam...I'll be your Dorothy in the streets and Blanche in the sheets lmfao. We'll stimulate each other's minds and bodies and use our time together to explore and discover. 

I promise the story we write together will be done of love, respect, kindness and perseverance. A life filled with laughter, happiness, kids, family and strength in the face of adversity. We'll be two lives intertwined into one unit, us against the world. 

 If for ever, any reason you become a different person with different needs who can no longer provide the love and care you once did to me and ours, it might be time for you to go. Love does not hurt, but love does grow and change. If your love changes in a way that can't be fixed, let me go. I promise to love you enough to do the same. 

With love,
Your future wife,
Cicely aka the Bougie Beauty Babe

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